I have the worlds smallest fucking bladder it’s ridiculous. It’s hard to act cool at a party when you have to pee after every fucking beer. Jesus Christ.
Anonymous asked: How did you get a job at IGA? Did you go in with your resume?
I knew a manager and they needed someone to do everything so I did. That being said, if you want a job there, try to be a girl. At least at cornetts. Just hand your resume to a manager. That’s how everyone else got the job.
Why do birds suddenly appear everytime I’m near? I carry seeds with me everywhere. My pockets are full of seeds. They’re falling out. So many seeds. I have a problem please help.
My states police facebook feed is pretty consistently amazing.
What do you call it when you betray a tree? Treeson.
A lesbian couple with two pugs on grand designs are building a house with a wine cellar and pool on a Victorian country property. Someone has incepted me, found my 15 year plan and made a show out of it.
Earlier today this one girl was talking about how racism only happens if you’re too sensitive and that words are just words and that rather than being offended by how dismissive of the experiences of people who deal with racism she was being, you should just be like her and not let it affect you. Then she announced that she was going to smoke a bowl and watch this week’s Game of Thrones and not care about any of this
Having just started A Feast For Crows earlier last week I went ahead and spoiled the next two seasons of Game of Thrones for her but don’t worry! It’s okay, words only have the meaning you give them so she can just conveniently forget who any of the characters are forever and it’ll be fine
History always repleats. History is very serious about ironing.
